Act like a KiD AgAin!

It is amazing how much you life can change in an instant. We have all been there. Whether it was graduating, getting married, having a child, or hearing an unwanted diagnosis-we have all had that moment of "what next?"

I have had several of those "what next", "why me" moments in my life. You can either choose to learn from them or have them drown you, slowly. I choose to learn from my moments. My first moment brought me a life-long gift. It was a gift that I had wanted and wished for since I was probably was eight-to be a mother. After years of many ups and downs, she finally graced our life in the most amazing way. I am so thankful for her. If I didn't have her, I'm not sure I would be where I am today.

Once I got my diagnosis, I found myself depressed, wondering about my life, and wallowing for days. The only reason I would get out of bed, was her. She needed me. She was my glimmer of light in my darkest hours. She reminded me why I needed to continue living my life and fight. She was my purpose. She gave me purpose. She reminded me what life is supposed to be like- laughter, love, and many adventures!

I recently came across this article: 5 Ways Acting Like a Kid Can Improve Your Mental Health. I found it to be so true. Since my diagnosis, I have found myself enjoying life to the fullest. I play like a kid again. We play some of the craziest things-like chasing crocodiles in our front room or scary monster. She makes me feel like I am five and I love it. Who doesn't want to be five again?

So, if you have been through one of those moments where you question "what's next" or "why me" or just clearly need a break from your daily routine, give yourself an hour, a day, a week and play like a kid again. Your heart will thank you for it. :)

i have fallen, but i will get back up.

It's been two months since my wide excision. Not a day goes by that I do not think about my cancer. I understand that it was removed, but it is going to be a lifelong war. A war with my mind....Will it recur? Are the rest of my moles alright? Are the ones Dr. told me to watch and wait going to haunt me in my sleep? Can I enjoy the sun at all? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

My family and I recently went on a well-needed vacation to the happiest place on earth, Walt Disney World. A few nights before we were to depart, fear overtook me. I began to panic about many things. One being, the weather and the clothing I was going to wear.  Another panic-How am I going to stay out of the sun in Florida? For the last few years, my hubby and I would travel there every spring and literally lay on the beach ALL. Day. LONG. We would bask in the warm, hot sun. It felt so good on our cold, Midwest bodies. Now, going to Florida almost depresses me. I can't enjoy the sun like I used too. Now, it requires gallons of sunblock, a few pairs of sunglasses, hats, and  SPF clothing.

Despite all of the new adjustments to the warm, sunny destination-WDW was seriously amazing. It took me about 30 minutes to slather on my sunscreen every morning. Then again, two hours later. (Repeat 7 more times.) It wasn't THAT bad. But, it definitely was different.

Skin Cancer has made me fall, but I am slowly starting to get back up and face my fears one day at a time.