i have fallen, but i will get back up.

It's been two months since my wide excision. Not a day goes by that I do not think about my cancer. I understand that it was removed, but it is going to be a lifelong war. A war with my mind....Will it recur? Are the rest of my moles alright? Are the ones Dr. told me to watch and wait going to haunt me in my sleep? Can I enjoy the sun at all? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

My family and I recently went on a well-needed vacation to the happiest place on earth, Walt Disney World. A few nights before we were to depart, fear overtook me. I began to panic about many things. One being, the weather and the clothing I was going to wear.  Another panic-How am I going to stay out of the sun in Florida? For the last few years, my hubby and I would travel there every spring and literally lay on the beach ALL. Day. LONG. We would bask in the warm, hot sun. It felt so good on our cold, Midwest bodies. Now, going to Florida almost depresses me. I can't enjoy the sun like I used too. Now, it requires gallons of sunblock, a few pairs of sunglasses, hats, and  SPF clothing.

Despite all of the new adjustments to the warm, sunny destination-WDW was seriously amazing. It took me about 30 minutes to slather on my sunscreen every morning. Then again, two hours later. (Repeat 7 more times.) It wasn't THAT bad. But, it definitely was different.

Skin Cancer has made me fall, but I am slowly starting to get back up and face my fears one day at a time.